by Anita S. Lane
While on a recent visit to the hair salon, a mother requested to have the heat turned down on her son’s hair dryer. “It’s hot, but I also think it’s the fumes. He has very bad allergies,” she said. I glanced over at the boy sitting uneasily on a stack of yellow pages under the adult sized hair dryer. “Fumes?” I thought to myself. What could they possibly be doing to this child’s hair? And how old is he?
Well as it turned out, the boy was nine years old and he was having his hair professionally cut and highlighted. Not to mention he was at the same salon I struggle to get to in regular intervals.
Maybe it’s a sign of the times or just a sign of my age—but I recall being in high school before requesting highlights—and even then, they came in a box. But this was a boy. A very young boy, demanding to look like those spike-haired, highlighted boy band members—perhaps to impress his fourth grade female friends. Wait, do boys even like girls at that age?
Nevertheless, I asked the mom whose idea it was and she said, “his.” She must have seen the dumbfounded expression on my face. She then said, “I look at it this way. It’s better that he care than not care at all.” It took me a moment but I think I got it. She meant it is better that he care about his hair and appearance than not care at all as is the case with some boys.
Excuse me for being old fashioned, but since when is it important for a nine year old boy to care that much for his hair and appearance? Especially to the extent that it requires his mother to voluntarily agitate his “bad” allergies as well as spend the family’s hard-earned dollars at a salon. And unless my hair stylist offers “kiddie rates” this boy’s mom kicked out about 100 bucks for his ‘do.’
Only time will tell what the future has for me, but it is my prayer that between school work, sports and family obligations that my three boys won’t have time for color treatments. And I really hope it just won’t be a priority for them.
However, I realize that we become what we see—just like we are what we eat. And it’s apparent the young boy at the salon has seen more than his share of images in pop culture that portray “cool” boys as those who color their hair.
I’m not opposed to hair coloring. I like my own hair highlighted. Yet somehow I can’t help but think we as parents must focus our time and energy on building the self esteem of our youngsters and affirming that their hair is perfect the way it is—in addition to trying to limit their over-exposure to popular media images.
This nine year-old boy has not even reached his pre-teen and teen years when puberty and self expression are in full bloom. What happens when he asks for colored contacts, regular visits to the tanning salon or even a little cosmetic surgery?
It’s important that we teach our children the value of accepting themselves for who God made them. They must know that God made them, loves them, and they are “just right” just the way they are. At some point, our children must learn to care more about God and their parents’ opinions of them than even their peers. And that value will only come when we as parents exert the time, energy and effort required to highlight life’s real priorities—and not just their hair.
While on a recent visit to the hair salon, a mother requested to have the heat turned down on her son’s hair dryer. “It’s hot, but I also think it’s the fumes. He has very bad allergies,” she said. I glanced over at the boy sitting uneasily on a stack of yellow pages under the adult sized hair dryer. “Fumes?” I thought to myself. What could they possibly be doing to this child’s hair? And how old is he?
Well as it turned out, the boy was nine years old and he was having his hair professionally cut and highlighted. Not to mention he was at the same salon I struggle to get to in regular intervals.
Maybe it’s a sign of the times or just a sign of my age—but I recall being in high school before requesting highlights—and even then, they came in a box. But this was a boy. A very young boy, demanding to look like those spike-haired, highlighted boy band members—perhaps to impress his fourth grade female friends. Wait, do boys even like girls at that age?
Nevertheless, I asked the mom whose idea it was and she said, “his.” She must have seen the dumbfounded expression on my face. She then said, “I look at it this way. It’s better that he care than not care at all.” It took me a moment but I think I got it. She meant it is better that he care about his hair and appearance than not care at all as is the case with some boys.
Excuse me for being old fashioned, but since when is it important for a nine year old boy to care that much for his hair and appearance? Especially to the extent that it requires his mother to voluntarily agitate his “bad” allergies as well as spend the family’s hard-earned dollars at a salon. And unless my hair stylist offers “kiddie rates” this boy’s mom kicked out about 100 bucks for his ‘do.’
Only time will tell what the future has for me, but it is my prayer that between school work, sports and family obligations that my three boys won’t have time for color treatments. And I really hope it just won’t be a priority for them.
However, I realize that we become what we see—just like we are what we eat. And it’s apparent the young boy at the salon has seen more than his share of images in pop culture that portray “cool” boys as those who color their hair.
I’m not opposed to hair coloring. I like my own hair highlighted. Yet somehow I can’t help but think we as parents must focus our time and energy on building the self esteem of our youngsters and affirming that their hair is perfect the way it is—in addition to trying to limit their over-exposure to popular media images.
This nine year-old boy has not even reached his pre-teen and teen years when puberty and self expression are in full bloom. What happens when he asks for colored contacts, regular visits to the tanning salon or even a little cosmetic surgery?
It’s important that we teach our children the value of accepting themselves for who God made them. They must know that God made them, loves them, and they are “just right” just the way they are. At some point, our children must learn to care more about God and their parents’ opinions of them than even their peers. And that value will only come when we as parents exert the time, energy and effort required to highlight life’s real priorities—and not just their hair.
Copyright ©2004 by Anita S. Lane
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