Sunday, February 20, 2005

Tribute to Black History--pt 4

We Can Learn A Lot Today: Gleaning from Yesterday’s Civil Rights Leaders
by Anita S. Lane

I recently took the time to view the landmark series, "Eyes on the Prize," a 14-part documentary of the civil rights movement and its aftermath, spanning from the 1950s through the mid 1980s. As I reflect on the extraordinary movement of the 1950s and 60s, I clearly see why the movement was so successful. We’ve all heard the phrase “everything rises and falls with leadership.” Well, the black community of that day had its fair share of dedicated leaders who set the pace and led a nation of people toward true democracy.

What is it that these leaders did or possessed within them that made them and ultimately the movement, so extraordinary in my opinion? They possessed many qualities. And I realize now that these are the same qualities that the black community needs today in order to move further ahead collectively. “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy,” Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. said. It may not be the 1960s, but the black community yet has challenges and controversy that we need to address.

What have I observed about the leaders of the nonviolent civil rights movement? In short, they were brilliant, courageous, well-read, strategic, team-oriented, persistent, publicly unified, resilient, focused, patient and hopeful. They also embraced the help of anyone who meant the movement well. And most importantly, they drew strength daily from God and from one another.

This is what it took to make an incredible history-changing movement like the one we experienced in the 1950s and 60s and this is what it will take to forever transform our lives in the 21st century.

I heard a message by a Pastor in Virginia who stated that Dr. King knew that in order to help take his people to the “promised-land” that he had to help “plant a dream inside of them.” King knew it would take vision. The pastor went on to state that we need some young people today to “stand up and say, I too have a dream.”

The pastor lamented that in our society today we’re letting secular entertainers shape our children’s dreams. He stated that entertainers like Snoop Dog, Lil’ Kim and Eminem have become the model of success for many young people. Now, I have nothing against individual entertainers who do what they feel they need to do in order to be successful. However, many of the behaviors and character traits they exhibit I don’t want my children to emulate.

The point is, we still need a dream—a dream that’s larger and more profound than a 52-inch plasma TV, or a tricked-out Lincoln Navigator. We need to pinpoint areas in which we have yet to make adequate strides in American Society and strategically set goals to make advances in those areas. We must push ourselves beyond ourselves.

Sometimes I’m concerned that we think we’ve arrived. Yet we really haven’t. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the poverty rate for African American children is more than twice as high as white children. The college graduation rate for black students is only one-third that of whites, and only about half of all Blacks who enter the ninth grade graduate with regular diplomas four years later.

Clearly we haven’t “arrived.” No, the “struggle” is not over, and there is a lot we can learn from the civil rights movement, its leaders and participants. And we must. If those leaders were to speak to us today, I believe they might say:

We must read books. It makes us smarter.
We must stay in school. It widens the window of opportunity.
We must learn to work well with others. It increases our probability of success.
We must stay the course in spite of opposition. It produces patience and results. We must bounce back after failure. It is the only way to achieve success.
We must be brave. It makes us stronger.
We must keep hope alive. It paralyzes fear.
We must keep our eyes on the prize. It's how endure temporary pain.
We must never give up. Otherwise we will never know what we could have achieved.
We must continually look to the hills from where our help comes. Our help comes from the Lord.

The qualities that empowered the leaders of the modern civil rights movement were not exclusive to them in their time. Those qualities will also work to advance the Black community today.


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
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Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day!

Everybody Loves Love
by Anita S. Lane

Recently my husband and I went to see the movie, Hitch. When the movie ended the audience erupted in applause. I was surprised, but I too joined in. It is my inclination to applaud after a great film, but this is an act I typically reserve for viewing movies at home with my young children.

Whether we realized it or not, those of us viewing this movie chose to applaud in a dark movie theater before an inanimate screen where the actors are who knows where, and totally unable to hear or see our vote of confidence. What is it that would cause young, old, black, white, male, female, Asian, Latino, wealthy and working class to all join in unified applause? My guess is that it is the universal theme of love.

Since the beginning of time love has been the great equalizer among people. People on the seven different continents may spell it, say it and pronounce it differently, but we all feel love the same way.

It’s my speculation that majority of the audience was reminded of that special love after watching this film. Opening Valentine’s Day weekend, Hitch was released to capitalize on the holiday dedicated to love. The movie stars actors Will Smith, Eva Mendez and Kevin James, and is about a Date Doctor who helps nice guys woo the girl of their dreams.

Like Hitch, the original St. Valentine helped couples literally get “hitched.” As the legend goes, St. Valentine was a priest in third century Rome who performed secret marriage ceremonies for young soldiers and their brides because the Emperor had outlawed marriage under the premise that unmarried men made better soldiers. St. Valentine was ultimately put to death, but not before writing a letter to the young girl who visited him while he was in prison, and with whom he’d fallen in love. He signed the letter, “From your Valentine,” which we still say today.


So what is it about love that everybody loves? Well, true love is unconditional—it’s kind, gentle, forgiving, faithful, patient, hopeful, endearing and enduring. Love defers to others and it never gives up.

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the word Love means a deep, tender, ineffable [indescribable] feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

It is this indescribable love that makes you feel like you can fly, climb the highest mountain, swim the widest ocean, and achieve your wildest dreams. The genuine love received from another person makes you feel good about yourself and has enormous power to help you accomplish things you never thought you would.

The best part about love is that we each have the capacity to give and receive it. As children of the creator who IS love, to love is as much a part of our nature as breathing. It’s just that we have to put forth some effort to get it “just right.” Yea, it’s work, but it’s worth it.

So as we celebrate Valentine’s Day may it remind us of the power of love—the power of love to uplift, ignite and transform. This view of love must have inspired the songwriter who wrote the lyrics “what the world needs now is love, sweet love…” Love truly is what the world needs.


Giving and receiving love makes us happier, better people. Deep down we know that and that's why we desire it. It doesn’t matter who you are or what culture you come from, everybody loves love.

Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
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Sunday, February 13, 2005

Tribute to Black History--pt 3

May Black History Month Remind Us Why Affirmative Action is Still Needed
by Anita S. Lane

This Commentary was published in The Detroit News. CLICK HERE to see the article.


One hundred and twenty-two years after President Lincoln freed the slaves, I walked on the university campus as the first individual from my family lineage to attend and graduate from college. I’m an African-American.

I didn’t have the advantage of writing the name of a parent or sibling who attended the university before me. I was a young lady with promise, good grades, and leadership ability, but I owe my entry into the University of Michigan in part, to supportive counselors and affirmative action.

Opponents of affirmative action say that it is unfair, undemocratic, unconstitutional and two wrongs don’t make a right. But how fair, democratic and constitutional was the institution of slavery and the illiteracy, poverty, self-hatred and family dysfunction that ensued as a result—compounded by the effects Jim Crow and racism? The entrenched residual effects of slavery were not undone by Lincoln’s emancipation nor the Civil Rights laws and unfortunately, in spite of many positive steps forward, many of these factors still negatively impact the African-American community today.

According to the U.S. Census bureau, in 1860 there were approximately 4,000,000 slaves in America. African American slaves helped construct our nation’s most symbolic structures, harvested our crops, and by force, sweat, and blood helped build the industries that made America prosperous.

America cannot repay African Americans suitable damages for the 400 years of transatlantic slavery, but America can, being honest and compassionate, take positive actions that affirm the fact it so incalculably and systemically wronged a whole race of people for hundreds of years.

In a country with a progressive tax structure, virtually 100% tax write-offs for corporations and wealthy Americans, as well as a history of welfare and entitlement programs, lawmakers are accustomed to instituting laws and programs they think are fair, just and equitable. Affirmative action is no different.

Even more, affirmative action does not award undeserving individuals with degrees. Yes, I was admitted to college on the basis of their efforts to reach out to more minorities. But I worked hard and graduated. Then I worked hard and graduated again with my Masters Degree.

As humans we innately gravitate towards, understand and perhaps prefer people like ourselves. Affirmative Action helps to ensure that people of color are no longer systematically shut out of the ranks of the “movers and shakers” as well as positions of leadership in institutions that have been traditionally led by whites.

Affirmative action also isn’t about quotas. In the case of the college campus, affirmative action is, at its core, a conscience effort made on the part of admissions counselors to value racial and cultural diversity when making admissions decisions—believing that a diversified college campus makes for a better college experience and ultimately a better workforce.

From a cost-benefit standpoint, affirmative action costs very little. Yet we suffer grave social and economic consequences when we don’t make the effort. When blacks, whites and people of other races share the same dormitory, the same classroom and the same board room, great cultural exchanges take place. We stem the tide of ignorance and we learn to live in harmony with one another.

One affirmative action is all it took, and the world opened up for me. And now the world is open for my children. My children will have the social networks, education and experiences to take our family lineage to the next level.

However, it is now 140 years after Lincoln freed the slaves, a mere forty years since African Americans could expect equal treatment under the law, and there are still many African American individuals who yet need an opportunity like the one I received.

Yes, African Americans attend college at higher rates than we did fifty years ago, yet, according to a study by the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, the disparity between white college graduates and African American college graduates has actually increased since 1960, and the percentage of African American college graduates today is only one-third that of whites.

Let’s not peddle backwards. In a progressive society like America, colleges should look at the whole person when considering his or her potential contribution to the campus—including race. That’s why I commend the University of Michigan’s continued fight for affirmative action.

Each February we take time to remember the achievements of notable African-Americans and what progress we have made thus far. But this year I hope we will look openly and honestly at our broader American history and the ramifications on African-Americans in our society to see why affirmative action is still needed.

Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
Visit my online magazine for moms
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Tribute to Black History--pt 2

I’m Black and I’m Proud…Now
by Anita S. Lane

I grew up as a minority in a predominately white and Orthodox Jewish neighborhood which grew increasingly ethnically diverse throughout my K-12 academic career. I remember going into kindergarten and first grade with just two or three Black children in my class. I remember becoming best friends with Molly and later, Julie who were both Jewish. In high school I remember falling for the one Latino guy in our class and having the biggest crush on the popular, muscular, dark-haired, dark-eyed boy named Brad.

I remember me and my best friend having a saying that went, “white boys, black cars, colonial houses and lots of money, honey.” Suburban life had really taken its toll.

Then I went to college. Giving credit to the Black Action Movement (BAM) the Black Student Union, courses in the College of African American Studies and other culturally aware students, I learned more about African American history than I ever did growing up. I learned that “my people” had so much that I could be proud of.

Most importantly, I give credit to God for showing me how to love myself and others unconditionally. I became a Christian at age 18 and really began to challenge my subconscious beliefs about race, culture and beauty. My mom informs me that when I was in elementary school I wanted to be white and have long, straight hair like the other girls. Amazingly, I don't remember that. However, I do remember being a teenager and having a preference for light-skinned Black boys with “good” (that meant straighter) hair.

As a result of the salvation and cultural education I experienced as a young college student, I began to accept, appreciate and love myself and those like me—Black people—more. I knew I had truly “crossed over” when I loved and appreciated myself enough to desire to marry someone just like me—albeit, male. It wasn’t long before I met my wonderful, tall, muscular, very handsome, brown-skinned husband-to-be while on campus. Had I met him before my metamorphosis, he would have never made the cut--
and I would have missed out on God's best for me.

While it is unfortunate that I had to go through such a deep inner transformation just to unconditionally love, appreciate and accept myself and other Black people, I’m just glad that I made the tranformation. And if I can be an encouragement to anyone else with the same struggle, that's great. My people are incredibly bright, strong, courageous, passionate, loving, creative and beautiful people. I doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of us. I know that now. I’m Black…and I’m proud.


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane

Visit my online magazine for moms
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org/

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Tribute to Black History--pt 1

We Must Love Ourselves—The Solution for a Post-Modern Civil Rights Era
by Anita S. Lane

Prior to the advancements made by the civil rights movement of the 1950s and 60s, the black community suffered under severe and oppressive racism that made it very difficult to fully express one’s self and function freely in American society. Some of the external forces that permitted such oppression still exist in the hearts of men today, yet I believe that we in the black community must come to terms with the fact that the most oppressive inhibitor now exists within.

The modern civil rights movement brought the segregation walls down. This was a very necessary action to ensure all Americans the right to vote and access to houses, jobs and universities. Yet when the walls came down our focus as a community should have shifted inward. What do we need to do now to ensure that we are able to take full advantage of the opportunities before us? How do we deal with the lingering inner oppressive forces that are the result of centuries of external oppression that now work against us to keep us from excelling even after the segregation walls have been brought down?

Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., following the example of the nonviolent model of Jesus Christ, taught us to love our enemies. Today, our most powerful enemy is the enemy within, and the only conqueror to this enemy is love.

I believe Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. would pain inside to see that after the incredible amount sacrifice the black community endured to persist in the nonviolent movement, today we are the largest perpetrators of violence and the majority of that violence we inflict on one another.

Can we take the words of the nonviolent leaders and use the example of the nonviolent movement and lift the oppression that exists within the black community today? It’s been said that change occurs only when an oppressed people “find their voice.” Can we find our voice within in the words, “we must love ourselves?” As rudimentary as this may sound, until we truly love ourselves, we will not cease to destroy ourselves, and we will keep ourselves from living the glorious lives that God has intended for each of us.

Can we in the black community boycott the hate, march against the blame game and hold a sit-in at the local churches to hear our preachers pour the message of love into our hearts?

God’s word tells us that love will cover the multitude of sins (I Peter 4:8). It is this kind of unconditional, enduring love that will enable us to embrace our strengths, rise above external opposing forces, conquer our fears, overcome our failures, grow beyond our limitations and lead the lives purposed for us. No one and nothing else can do this for us. It must begin from within. We must find our voice and change our destiny. We must truly love ourselves.


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
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Sunday, January 23, 2005

Secular Humanism: Slowly Becoming America’s National Religion?

by Anita S. Lane

I’ve heard the arguments. They are compelling and reasonable. We cannot endorse one religion unless we are willing to endorse them all. Hence, can you imagine the front lawn of City Hall covered with thirty different religious symbols and displays during the Winter Solstice season?—the holiday I call Christmas.

How about removing all postings of the Ten Commandments from all court houses throughout the country—including the Ten Commandments engraved in stone above the United States Supreme Court. We could do this. However, let’s consider the civility of this action.

The First Amendment of the United States Constitution states that:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

But does this amendment mean that there can be no expression of faith in the public square? My reading does not render that interpretation. Nor do I think our forefathers read the amendment that way. Based on these words we see that the constitution forbids the government from establishing a national religion as well as from prohibiting us from freely exercising our religion.

Our forefathers were not afraid of the role and significance of faith—unlike the many secularists in today’s culture. Consider the fact that Moses is included among the great lawgivers in the sculpture relief on the east portico of the Supreme Court. Furthermore, each Supreme Court Session begins with the invocation, "God save the United States and this honorable court."

Okay, so you say, “that’s just tradition…” Well, that’s just my point. Certain traditions and “religious” symbols simply reflect our heritage as a nation. Remembering heritage is imperative—whether good or bad. That’s why we have museums that remind us of American slavery. It’s also why some folks want to maintain their confederate flag. It’s our roots…and it has molded us into who we are today.

Today, however, we have secular humanists who insist that anything remotely sacred or religious is somehow an imposition on their right to not be religious. I contend that their push to secularize everything is an imposition on my right to be “religious.”

Now Secular Humanists do not consider themselves an organized religion but rather an organized philosophical system—primarily because there is no deity-worship involved. Yet one definition of religion according to the American Heritage Dictionary is, “A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.”

Thus, we can safely say that religion is not confined to a weekly liturgy or worship of a deity. The highly organized set of principles laid out in the “Affirmations of Humanism: A Statement of Principles,” is akin to one’s “Statement of Faith” posted in the halls of any given religious institution.

The definition of secularism is “the view that religious considerations should be excluded from civil affairs or public education, yet the United States Constitution does not require such a separate and “secular” government. It only requires that the government not establish a national religion. However, if the precedent set by recent court rulings continues and all levels of government are forced to enforce these rulings, I fear we will have established a national religion—a national religion of Secular Humanism.

My question to the secular humanist is this: Just how is one expected to exclude religious considerations from civil affairs and public education when the very individuals involved in civil affairs and public education are people of faith—among others? The laws and institutions of the United States reflect the people of the United States. And most people in this country have a core religious faith from which they cannot simply separate themselves nor ignore when forming opinions and making decisions.

My words to the secular humanist are these: a nation truly free of a national religion would allow free discusion of religion in a school setting--or Bible, Torah or Koran reading during a student's "free reading time" as long as it was initiated by the student and not the teacher. In homogeneous communities, if a student wants to offer a prayer and no one dissents, it should be allowed. The point is not to force a particular religion on anyone—nor to prevent the free expression thereof. However, it appears as though America is headed toward the prohibition of all forms of religious expression.

Once we come to the point where one can be jailed, fined, disciplined or reprimanded for expressing their religious beliefs in public or private setting, our nation has seriously veered from the constitution. In an attempt to erect a “wall of seperation between church and state” the nation will have wrongly constructed an even larger wall of Secular Humanism to prohibit the inclusion and participation of people of faith.

The United States is one nation of many people of many religions and ideologies. Individuals in our public institutions, schools and workplaces should all be allowed to freely express or not express themselves in public or private without fear of reprimand.

To expect government to adopt the secular humanist position is not only unconstitutional but unrealistic. For as long as there are people of faith, there will be expressions of faith both in the public and private sector. America is a pluralistic society with Judeo-Christian roots. Accept it. America should not be forced to deny or ignore its heritage.


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
Visit the Keeping Family First Website for Moms!

Sunday, January 16, 2005

No Potty Breaks Allowed

by Anita S. Lane

It was our son’s first birthday. I felt blessed. He’d made it through a whole entire year— nothing to take lightly. I was planning a small family celebration with party hats, balloons and cupcakes to commemorate his special day.

All was well—apart from the fact that this day came on the heels of a major pipe burst in our basement. The broken pipe left both sides of the kitchen sink unusable and a considerable amount of dirty water on our new basement carpet. So I spent the early hours of the morning of my son’s first birthday picking up every conceivable item off the floor of the basement and family room to make way for the carpet cleaner’s arrival between 8 and 9 a.m. After picking up, washing a load of clothes, dressing and feeding the children, combing my daughter’s hair, and facilitating the carpet cleaning, it was time to set up for the gathering.

I tied the helium balloons to his high chair and moved the chair to the dining room. I placed the party hats, plates and cupcakes on the table. Now was my chance to take a moment to make myself presentable. I took a potty break.

Within a moment into my ascent up the stairs to the bathroom my five year-old daughter yells, “Mommy! Mommy! The baby pulled the cupcakes off the table and they are all over the floor!” In my attempt to remain calm I said, “Just pick them up and put them back on the table.” Another moment passed and my daughter yells, “Mommy, it’s all over the place!” I said to myself, “Maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds. She may have exaggerated some.” Then I had a visual image of what might have taken place.

The weaker part of me wanted to have a melt-down. “I’m not going to cry,” I told myself. I was really tired—not to mention eight months pregnant—and I couldn’t fathom a setback of that magnitude.

I gained my composure (although I was still not yet physically presentable) and headed downstairs. Yes, it was as bad as I thought. My three children were sitting on the beige, carpeted dining room floor along with twelve smashed chocolate cupcakes. The birthday boy was covered in chocolate icing from top to bottom. The carpet was a mess.

For what happened next I must give God the glory. “Put your party hats on!” I said. Then I grabbed my camera. “Say cheese,” I said as I snapped a few photos of the party that had apparently started with out me. I guess my idea of fun and a one year-old’s idea of fun are completely different.

Right about this time Grandma and Papa arrived. They took one look at the mess and one look at me (I guess I must have looked a mess too) and said, “We’ll clean it up.” Then I once again ascended to the bathroom to make myself presentable.

We had a great little celebration. Looking back, my son’s cupcake debacle ensures his first birthday will be a memorable one. And if I’m honest, it wasn’t really his fault. I left the cupcakes on the table—apparently within his reach. And once again, I was the one who left to go to the bathroom. As a mother of young children, I should have known better—as necessary and important as they may be, there are no potty breaks allowed!


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane

Sunday, January 09, 2005

How to Have a Baby on the Weekend

by Anita S. Lane

It was a very familiar scene. Eight of my closest family members huddled in the birthing room celebrating the birth of my fourth child. “This is a tradition,” my stepmother said. “We wouldn’t miss this,” she said referring to visiting me while in the hospital and posing for the traditional photo of me holding the baby and the family gathered around the bed.

As we all “oohed and aahed” over the baby my stepmother went on to say, “Just how do you manage to always have your babies on the weekend?” We all thought about it for a moment and she was right. My first baby was born on a Friday night, my second on a Sunday afternoon, and my fourth on a Saturday night. My third was born on a Monday but it felt like a weekend because it was three days before Christmas during “Christmas break.” Nice and convenient for everyone, uh?

We chuckled at this coincidence and then I said, “Maybe I could write a book telling other moms how to plan to have their babies on the weekend and make a bunch of money.” We all laughed. But you’re reading this article aren’t you?

Each year there are over 2,000 self-help books published world-wide. How to Have a Baby on the Weekend: Plan how to give birth when it’s convenient for you and your family, could be one more resource for moms and dads looking for ways to help improve the quality and convenience of their lives. And the amazing thing is—somebody—if not many people, would buy the book.

Common sense tells us that there is no way one can really plan (accept by planned cesarean) which day of the week a woman will give birth, yet as bright, self-aware individuals we’re often enticed by the possibility that we might actually be able to outsmart the forces of nature—not to mention the divine will of God.

However, we must be honest with ourselves. There are some things that we simply cannot control. No matter how many self-help books we read we cannot undo the fact that life happens. Accidents happen, people become ill, you may lose your job, and a loved one may even lose his or her life. Yet the most we can do is respond in a healthy manner.

If something you really want to happen in your life doesn’t happen, know that it is ultimately okay. As long as you’re breathing, life goes on and you can continue to make the best of each day, improving yourself and doing right by the things over which you do have control. That’s the most anyone can do—and with that attitude, you just might have your baby on the weekend.

Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane

Visit the Keeping Family First Website for Moms!
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Resolve to Thrive in 2005!

by Anita S. Lane

It’s that time of year again—time for reflection and goal-setting—time to determine what we can do to make this year better than the last.

If you’re like me, your list of resolutions might include the all-too-familiar, eat right, exercise more, lose weight, spend more time in God’s Word, put more money aside, better manage my time, etc.

But what many of us often overlook is our family life. We want a thriving career or business and we set goals and make strides to deliver on these goals. But do we make a resolution to have a thriving family? A family that really knows one another, cares for one another deeply, enjoys one another’s company, and supports one another’s endeavors? As a parent are you tending to your child’s spiritual, emotional, social and physical needs? This doesn’t happen “on the fly.” To do this takes a concerted effort, prayer and discipline. Hence, goal setting, benchmarks, time and effort.

In America today, 34% of girls will get pregnant at least once by the age of 20. 53% of 12th grade students have used illicit drugs. Nine million children between the ages of 6 and 18 are now obese—an all-time high. 46% of all 9-12th grade students have had sexual intercourse. The divorce rate among born-again Christians is 35%-- identical to that of married adults who are not born again. And in Detroit, about 35% of Detroit students don’t graduate. Thus, it is imperative that we take a moment to take stock of the health of our family life. Is your family first after God? Or is your family way down the list of priorities after church, work, and other obligations?

This year, consider including goals like, eat more family meals together, have family devotions once a week, set aside a monthly date night with your spouse, spend quality one-on-one time with each child.

There are some things in life that come along only once and we only get one shot at getting it right. And that’s family. If you’re reading this and you have a spouse and children at home, take out your pen and prepare to write. If 2004 was a great year for the overall health of your family, congratulations! But if you sense that your family life has fallen short in some areas, take comfort that God’s mercies are new every morning! So resolve to thrive in 2005!


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane

Saturday, December 25, 2004

This Christmas, Renew Your Faith and Rekindle the Christmas Story

by Anita S. Lane

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! It’s also the perfect time to share with others why the birth of Christ is significant to us as Christians. At a time in American Society when “Merry Christmas” is being eliminated as a greeting and replaced with “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings,” it’s important that we let our light shine.

Allow me to remind you why we celebrate this holiday…Just over 2000 years ago, before there were silver bells and mistletoe, there was a baby born in the town of Bethlehem. He was conceived of the Holy Spirit by a virgin. He was born in a manager because there was no room in any of the local inns. His birth was so special that a star in the sky led the way to Him. Wise men traveled from the east bringing the Jesus child priceless gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Shepherd boys came to witness first hand what had been told to them by an angel and returned to their lands rejoicing, praising God, and sharing the good news with everyone along their path. Herod the King was curious about this new King of the Jews and sought to destroy Him.

Why all the fuss over a little baby boy? He wasn’t just any baby boy. The angel declared to Mary and Joseph that He would be called the Son of God. His name would be Jesus, for “He shall save His people from their sins,” and “of His kingdom there will be no end.” All these were pretty powerful statements concerning a baby born in a manger.

But this was the way God intended it. You see, a long time ago God our Heavenly Father and creator of the universe wanted a family—offspring that was created in His image with whom He could fellowship. But when Adam and Eve disobeyed and betrayed God in the Garden of Eden, the tight-knit fellowship they had with God was broken. Their sin put a wedge in the relationship that would have to be restored if God were to once again enjoy the level of intimacy He had with His children.

More than anything, God wanted to redeem His children. Yet under the law God had established, forgiveness of sin required a pure and holy sacrifice. So God created the perfect plan. He would offer up His only begotten Son—fully God, yet fully man.

Jesus was not only born miraculously, but He lived a miraculous life. He walked this earth fulfilling to-the-letter, over 300 prophecies. He lived a sin-free life in constant communion with our Heavenly Father. He went about His life doing good—bringing healing and restoration to all those who were broken-hearted and “poor” or lacking—in spirit, in health, and in wealth. He didn’t live for Himself but lived a life dedicated to His God-given purpose. “For this purpose was the Son of God manifested; that He might destroy the works of the evil one.” And that’s what Jesus did. (I John 3:8)

When the innocent man Jesus was crucified on the cross even the earth shook in response. The sky darkened and the rocks rent. Jesus descended to hell but couldn’t stay because He was blameless—thus defeating, death, Satan and the grave. Three days later Jesus ascended to Heaven to once again be with His Heavenly Father. “Mission accomplished!” Jesus was the pure and holy sacrifice needed to restore God’s children to Himself. Now God can again enjoy the intimacy He once knew with His children if we just believe.

You see, salvation like everything else in this life is really not “about us” it’s about God. God created us and loves us so dearly that He arranged to pay the price so that we could be redeemed. Because of Jesus we have life that is abundant, joy that is unspeakable and peace that passes all understanding. We have assurance of our salvation, life worth living and power to overcome evil. We have the power to live as Jesus lived—compassionately and sacrificially. Mark 6:34 tells us that when Jesus saw the multitude, He was “moved with compassion toward them because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and He began to teach them many things.” Jesus lived His life to help others find their purpose and their way back to God. We are to do the same.

So why should we be excited and eager to share the good news of Christ’s birth? Because truly his birth, life, death and resurrection is one incredible Christmas story that truly needs to be told. Never on the face of the earth was there a man who was born of a virgin, lived a life of miracles, crucified to death, resurrected and still alive today. In no other religion is there a “savior,” “prophet,” or “religious leader” whose remains are not in a grave or tomb somewhere.

So when someone asks you, or if you choose to volunteer “why you celebrate Christmas,” perhaps you can quote John 3:16 with renewed meaning and depth. For it most certainly is true—“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

May these words have renewed meaning for you and life-transforming power to those who hear and believe for the first time.

Merry Christmas!


Copyright ©2004 by Anita S. Lane

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Untidy House? You May be the Victim of Magnet Syndrome

by Anita S. Lane

Without warning, a strange phenomenon is occurring in your home. Your personal items are turning up in the most bizarre places. You discover your keys in the clothes hamper. Your mobile phone finds its way into the trash can. Your baby’s bottles are vanishing. The video tapes you tucked neatly under the entertainment center are disappearing and magically reappearing in odd places all across the first floor of your home. If these things are happening to you, you may be the victim of magnet syndrome.

The American Heritage dictionary defines “syndrome” as “a complex of symptoms indicating the existence of an undesirable condition or quality.” If you’ve experienced any of the symptoms I’ve described above there is a great possibility that you may also have the undesirable condition of an untidy home. Blame it on the “Magnet.”

I currently have an 11 month-old magnet named Daniel. Yet I guess it’s unfair to single him out because each child of mine was a magnet between the stage of crawling and age two.

If I may refresh your memory, an ordinary magnet is an “object that is surrounded by a magnetic field and that has the property, either natural or induced, of attracting iron or steel.” Well, my child—and perhaps yours too—is actually a super magnet whose magnetic field attracts not only iron and steel, but plastic, cloth, aluminum, and just about anything his little hands can carry. Did I mention I found an ink pen in the VCR?

Now I am not a clean freak. However, I believe in being neat. And my mother raised me to live out the expression “everything has its place.” So since keeping my house squeaky clean isn’t a very attainable goal for me right now, it is sometimes frustrating that I can’t even keep things as neat as I’d like.

If you don’t have children you may not understand the complexity of the magnet syndrome. It requires constant picking up, putting away, reorganizing, and the ultimate—search and rescue mission. “Okay, everybody, let’s find the baby’s pacifier!” Magnet syndrome requires as much energy by the adults in the home as it does the Magnet perpetrator. The only difference is the Magnet doesn’t need energy for much else. I have to perform magnet patrol as well as cook, clean, wash, feed, bathe, clothe, change diapers, etc. Plan on stopping over for an unexpected visit? Please give me 20 minutes notice!

So what’s the solution? If you are certain that you are a victim of magnet syndrome, try this five-step program: 1) Repeat after me, “It’s not my fault.” It took me a while to admit that my short-comings as a person weren’t to blame for infant shoes in the diaper caddy; 2) Expect to perform—and build in time for—magnet patrol as part of your daily duties. Unless you’re able to put your entire home on lock-down and have no loose parts, your little Magnet will transfer items from one place to another in your home—the problem is you never know where the items may end up. So create “clean up breaks” every couple of hours or so to avoid the dreaded mass clean up before bed time; 3) Get the entire family involved in magnet patrol. I’ve trained my five and three year-olds to stay on the look out for misplaced items and put them back in their place. They know they are responsible for helping clean up their baby brother’s mess; 4) Make sure none of the loose items in your home are particularly harmful—or at least toxic. Granted, just about anything can be harmful if used the wrong way, but make sure the toxins are locked away or better yet, eliminated from your home all together; and 5) Learn to enjoy your little magnet. My Magnet just loves being able to grasp objects, study them and walk them to another, more desirable location. It’s one of the signs that he’s growing up and it makes him proud. He’ll snatch up your empty mug and smile all the way to the toy box. So, relax. Take it easy and get that camera ready. You’re bound to capture a “Kodak moment.”


Copyright ©2004 by Anita S. Lane

Thursday, December 16, 2004

No Time for Cookies

by Anita S. Lane

We used to make. Now we just bake.

I recently saw a commercial with the image of a loving mother and child cuddled around the oven placing pre-made, pre-cut holiday cookies on a baking sheet. The voiceover makes the statement, “it's not about baking cookies, it's about creating holiday memories.”

That’s true. Holiday cookies are a special part of the holiday season. But whatever happened to flour, sugar, eggs and mixing bowls? I guess the end result is the same, but for some reason I was particularly struck by imagery in this commercial. I don’t know why. After all, I use pre-made cookie dough all the time.

Yet for some reason I felt slightly convicted while watching this commercial. Sure, the experience for mom and child was probably warm & fuzzy and it was quality time—all five minutes of it. However, I began to think of all the lessons my children miss out on when I don’t take the time to make—not just bake, cookies.

Making cookies from scratch is an opportunity to practice valuable life skills with a child—assembling ingredients, reading, counting, measuring, mixing, as well as patience—because it takes longer than the five minutes it takes to place pre-cut cookies on a baking sheet.

So why don’t we take the time to bake cookies from scratch? I’m concerned that not only are most of us too busy, but we no longer see the value in investing that sort of quality time with our children. After helping with homework, there’s not much “quality time” to go around, right?


Maybe. But this holiday season let’s give it a try. Dust off the mixer, pull out the aprons, and take a little extra time to make some special holiday cookies—or even a cake! It may not become an every week affair, but you just might rekindle the joy that comes from baking from scratch—the kind of joy we experienced while baking with our moms and grandmas. Remember licking the bowl? You’ll enjoy a little extra quality time and create lasting memories for your children as well—the kind of memories you only get when you take the time to make, and not just bake.


Copyright ©2004 by Anita S. Lane