Sunday, January 29, 2006

Secularization and Globalization: The Diminishing of an American Super Power

by Anita S. Lane

America is a super power because it was founded on the empowering principles of freedom and self determination—principles that emanate from the Judeo-Christian faith perspective. God created us in His likeness. God is free. Therefore we are free. God Himself will not preempt our will—whether it be good or evil.

Traditionally, America has acknowledged that the incredibly wonderful privilege of freedom comes from our creator, God. As a result of our acknowledgement of and dependence upon divine providence, we have enjoyed the benefits of unbridled creativity and the liberty to pursue one’s dreams.

One might contend that the wealth of this country has little to do with Christian values and more to do with the reality that the wealth of this nation was built on the backs of slaves—a horrible institution promulgated by the founding fathers. Could God have really been blessing this country in the midst of such a pervasive, evil vice, or were we just blessing ourselves with the profits from free slave labor? If we merely blessed ourselves, that evil seed would surely return to visit us in the form of a tempestuous harvest of destruction.

I submit to you that God did not bless America because of greedy, capitalistic, murderous individuals, but in spite of them. To the benefit of all in this country, there has always been a righteous remnant—a minority of people who keep the faith in earnest, people who love God and hate injustice. People who are willing to fight for the rights afforded to every human by God, and who are willing to die—as did Jesus—so that others can live free.

These are the people—not the corrupt, greed mongers—for whom God blessed America. The tradition of blessing the many because of the few is clearly laid out in scripture. Abraham pleaded with God to preserve Sodom and Gomorrah if there were only 10 righteous. God agreed. Unfortunately, Abraham stopped asking at 10, and there were not ten righteous. Scripture tells us that the prayers of the righteous avail much. God hears and answers the prayers of the righteous. The scripture also tells us that faith without works is dead. So these same people put action to their words and preached against slavery. They fought in the civil war. They walked alongside their African-American brothers and sister and pursued the cause of freedom and justice—even to their own physical, political and social demise. The Quakers,and members of the American Anti-Slavery Society were such individuals.

Now, over three hundred years since the establishment of this country, we are far less homogeneous. Many millions more have landed on our shores—bringing with them many more belief systems. And in addition to diversifying our faith base, each new generation of Americans seems to have forgotten the “faith or our fathers” and are far less likely to acknowledge God or His involvement in the affairs of men.

Thus, there is a correlation between the secularization of America and the globalization of America. The less value we give to our inalienable God-given rights, the more susceptible we become to the globalization of our values and ultimately—of America.

We are created by a sovereign God and we must remain a sovereign nation. Globalism on the other hand—sometimes referred to as Elitism, Internationalism, World Federalism, One World Order or the New World Order—is an ideology that strips individuals of their rights and countries of their sovereignty.

Founded on the premise that we have God-given inalienable rights, America’s founding fathers could not have imagined that America would evolve into a nation of people who “know not their God” and don’t even acknowledge Him. Yet, this is what is happening to America in small, bite-size increments. It is God’s will that His people are free. And when we lose sight of God, we lose sight of His will. If we no longer realize it is God’s divine will that we be free to fully govern ourselves and not be subject to outside rule, then we will become subject to such rule.

Wait…does this seem the least bit familiar? Beginning in the 1600's, Puritans began fleeing Europe in search of religious and political freedom. Today, with the creation of the Eastern Union, Britain is already seeing the horrifying effects of globalization. 80% of their laws are now made by the union and not by Britain itself.

If America does not resist the secularization of our values we will succumb to the globalization of our nation. If we don’t rise up to fight for our God-given rights, we may end up wishing we could flee to greener pastures. But there will be no where to go.



Copyright ©2006 by Anita S. Lane
Visit my online family magazine
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org/

Saturday, January 07, 2006

A Call to Pure Religion

by Anita S. Lane

James 1:27 says, “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” The scripture continues in verse one of chapter two by saying, “have not respect of persons…” Or in today’s language, “Don’t even say you have the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ—the Lord of glory—and then go and show respect of persons. In no way is that God."

How can this be the most fundamental element of religion? Wouldn’t the purest form of religion consist of introducing lost souls to Christ?

I think what James understood and wanted to communicate—which is also what Jesus understood and communicated—is that in order to reach people, you must first meet them; meet them right where they are. Don’t expect or ask them to come to you, but you go to them. You, the big, bad religious giant that you are—humble yourself, strip yourself of all piety as Jesus did, and meet them, so that you can reach them.

Why is it pure and undefiled to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction? Because they don’t have a platform upon which to proclaim to the world what you have done for them. What you have done will be done in anonymity and it won’t make the society pages—unless you take your personal film crew with you. Giving to the fatherless and widowed is pure because they don’t have anything to offer you in return. You are not giving in expectation of political favors or kickbacks. You’re giving because the need is there and the compassion of your savior on the inside of you is compelling you to give.

The scripture says that when Jesus looked upon the people, He was moved with compassion, for they were as sheep having no Shepard. What do we see when we look upon the people of our world today? Are we moved with compassion or are we moved to change the channel, or put down the newspaper and think on something more pleasant?

To have compassion is more than to have pity on someone. Compassion means a “Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.” (American Heritage Dictionary. Fourth Edition ©2000). Perhaps we are just too desensitized because of all the media images of suffering that are displayed across the airways. Perhaps we feel that there are too many social ills and we just throw up our hands in despair. However, that is not what Jesus did.

In Matthew 25 Jesus is telling a parable and concludes with the statement, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” In essence, He’s saying, “When you help those who are downtrodden, disenfranchised, marginalized and institutionalized, you’re doing something for me. That’s when you start speaking my language and pulling my heart strings. That’s why I came. Everyone was at one time broken, blind and in despair, separated from an intimate love relationship with our heavenly father, and that’s why I came. You see, I see you no differently than I see the orphan child or the widow. I have no respect of persons.”

Pure religion is about identifying a need and meeting it. Using your God-given mind, will, emotions, time, and resources to helping to others—and helping without expecting anything in return. I know many people who have traveled to Africa on medical and Christian missions. In spite of the health risks, and without Oprah’s cameras rolling, they go into towns and villages to help save lives—both physically and spiritually. That is pure religion.

All of the individuals who gave their hard earned money and utilized their resources to go down to the gulf coast after Hurricane Katrina to help—that’s pure religion.

To every volunteer and staff person at non-profit, youth and family-serving organizations who sacrifice larger pay checks and social status to commit to the cause of enhancing the lives of children and families, and building stronger communities—that’s pure religion.

To every layperson and minister who pays that weekly visit to the elderly in the nursing home or the woman or man in the prison—just to show that someone still cares—that’s pure religion.

…And to keep himself unspotted from the world. That’s the second aspect of “pure religion.” And just what does that mean? Well, it doesn’t mean don’t allow people in the world to touch you and spot up your crisp, clean clothes. No. In I John 2:15-17, the scripture says, 16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

That’s the “world” that John is admonishing us to not become spotted by. It’s the world that is in us. The world that operates in our mindset—our worldly way of thinking. And unfortunately, too many of us have succumb to the world’s way of thinking. We have yielded to the world’s fleshly lusts, the world’s lusts of the eyes and the pride of life. We want what the world wants and often (although unwilling to admit it) we’re willing to operate as the world does to get what we want. We live for ourselves and we only give if it’s in some way going to benefit us. That’s being spotted. That’s what God doesn’t want us to do.

This is a call to pure religion. A religion where in the 21st century speed-of-light society, we must slow down, pay attention and take time for those who are suffering around us. Only if we slow down and pay attention can we be moved with compassion, which leads to action. And effective action leads to change. And change is something we all want. We want our families to change, our schools to change, our communities to change, our younger generation to change, our elected leadership to change, our media to change… The only way we will get change is if we make the change to get involved in the lives of others and in causes greater than ourselves. Your one act of kindness can inspire another, who in turn makes a change—which inspires another, who in turn makes a change—which inspires another. And then we’ll see change manifest in America.

This is pure religion. Live it. Reproduce it.



Copyright ©2006 by Anita S. Lane
Visit my online family magazine
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org

Thursday, November 24, 2005

An Ode to Mom

A lesson in loving, forgiving, forgetting and moving on
by Anita S. Lane

As my mother’s birthday approaches, I think about her life and her legacy to me. Undeniably, one of the most important lessons in life I’ve learned and that I’m still learning from her is the lesson in loving, forgiving, forgetting and moving on.

My mother has an incredible capacity for unconditional love and a unique ability to get along with others who are unlike herself. She truly is no respecter of persons. This has been a phenomenal lesson for me. Throughout different seasons of her life, some of my mother’s closest friends—or at least individuals with whom she would spend quality time—were individuals that quite often, baffled me. In addition to her regular core group of “girlfriends” my mother has always seemed to find time to befriend individuals with hardships (whom others would conveniently ignore) or individuals who are wonderful and loving, yet slightly impaired.

While I was growing up, this meant lending a ride to a woman and her children who didn’t have a car; picking up a sister for church who may not drive; rounding up food, clothing and toys for a young woman and her family; involving those with few family or friends into our daily lives; and introducing newcomers to family gatherings and holiday meals. Most of all, I believe my mother’s most important role for the friends in her life is being there—when they need her most—with a listening ear, a compassionate heart and an encouraging word.

Of all the lessons I’ve learned from my mother, the one in loving is fundamental; but that’s not all. Because adjacent to the act of loving is the crucial act of forgiving. You cannot have true love without forgiveness. You see, life is all about love. It’s one long, love journey. Ideally we are born out of love. And once we are born, instantly we are born into love—whether it’s birth parents, adoptive parents, friends or guardians. Then as we grow, we are part of a family where we experience the love of siblings, extended family and community.

All the while, we’re learning what love is really all about and how to manage this—the most powerful emotion in the universe. And along the journey of love we encounter other travelers. If we’re fortunate we will meet great travel buddies and find life-long road companions, but we will also experience many near misses, fender-benders, and a few collisions with almost fatal repercussions.

At issue is not whether we will have such encounters but how we handle them. And learning to forgive is fundamental. In an incredible show of strength and resilience, my mother has demonstrated how to forgive, forget and move on. In forgiving, she’s shown me that you don’t have to wait on the offender to admit his or her wrong; you must simply choose to forgive. In forgetting, she’s demonstrated that you cannot harbor anger, hatred or bitterness, nor hang on to harm done to you; you must let it go and get on with the business of life. And in moving on, she’s proven that you cannot get stuck in the “ugly” that transpired in the past; there is too much beauty in your future.

Loving, forgiving, forgetting and moving on—all prerequisites to obtaining a valid driver’s license for the road of life’s long, love journey. And I am so grateful for a mother who has blessed me with a wonderful example and who has taught me by her life, how to live by these principles. As an adult, these lessons mean so much more to me than they ever did when I was a child. And I know that without the incredible example I have in my mother, I would not be the woman I am today.

For true love is not found in getting, but in giving; and the true test of love is not merely in sharing, but in forgiving. And the relationships God blesses us with along life’s journey are worth preserving—at all costs. The word of God instructs us to seek peace and pursue it. Surely, as we travel along life’s long, love journey, we’re presented each day with an opportunity to seek and pursue peace. And if we want to successfully reach our ultimate destination, we must take these fundamental “driver’s” lessons to heart.


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
Visit my online magazine for moms
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Inclusion of Individuals with Disabilities Makes us a Richer Society

by Anita S. Lane

Meet Brent Cools. Yes, he is in fact cool. He played on his junior high football team. He graduated cum laude from Stevenson high school in Sterling Heights, Michigan and was voted MVP of the month on his job that he had held for four years. He enjoys watching wrestling and working out. He runs on the treadmill and lifts weights everyday after work. None of these achievements surprise Brent or his parents, yet they are worth noting given that upon his birth twenty-three years ago, doctors predicted that Brent would not be able to lead a “normal” life and recommended he be reared in an “institution.”

You see, Brent was born with Down Syndrome—a condition that replicates a critical portion of the
21st chromosome in other cells in the body. This additional genetic material alters the course of development and causes the characteristics associated with Down Syndrome.

Today, Down Syndrome is the most common genetic condition with one in every 800 to 1,000 children born with it. And because the mortality rate for individuals with Down Syndrome is decreasing there are more individuals with Down Syndrome in society. Experts project that the number of people with Down syndrome within the population will double in the next 10 years, thereby increasing the amount of interaction Americans will have with individuals with this condition, and increasing the need for greater public education and acceptance.

The truth is, individuals with Down syndrome possess varying degrees of mental retardation, from very mild to severe, and most people with Down syndrome have IQs in the mild to moderate range of mental retardation. Given this fact, inclusion of individuals with Down syndrome in typical classroom settings, community organizations, work forces and social and recreational activities is crucial.


Brent refused to follow the typical course of study for “special education” students. He wanted to be included and he applied himself accordingly. Brent performed in his school’s theatrical productions of Peter Pan and Charlie Brown.

“I didn’t want to be treated differently. I wanted to be with all the kids, Brent states.” In keeping with this mantra, Brent played on the school football team and attended senior prom. Part of Brent’s Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) was a “circle of friends” that would help him and meet for 20 minutes a week and do other things with him.

His desire to be treated as any other individual his age is understandable. He’s like any other young adult. He works full time and his favorite tv show is “friends” and most recently, the new series, “Commander-In-Chief.” He’s also a big fan of pro wrestling. He even has stock in wrestling and checks his investment online every afternoon.

“The one word Brent always hated hearing was the word, “different.” Brent never perceived himself as being different. And he never accepted that,” states Brent’s father, Harold Cools.

Elaine Yager, Brent’s teacher at Davis Junior High advocated toget Brent into the regular classroom. “Brent was one of my star pupils and he needed to explore opportunities he had not had in the past. We modified the goals and he made it. He was successful. The kids were accepting of him and he was accepting of those kids too. He would not be successful in his job today had it not been for him exploring his independence skills. He does his job. He would not have been able to do that if he had been pigeon-holed into a strict “Down Syndrome” program. Fortunately, I had the luxury of parents who supported me. As parents, you are your child’s number advocate. We as teachers only supplement that.”

On the subject of inclusion, Brent’s mom, Marie couldn’t agree more. “We all have something to offer each other. And that’s something that you can’t learn out of a textbook.” The teachers and other parents learn that these students are just like everyone else,” Brent’s mom says.

Research shows that inclusion is good for all involved. In a nationwide study commissioned by the National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS) the report showed that entire classes benefit from working with a student with Down syndrome and “almost all teachers who responded found inclusion enjoyable, with some [teachers] calling it the single most interesting and rewarding experience of their careers.” (Source: www.NDSS.org)

Inclusion beyond the classroom is important too. Participation in the arts can have a positive impact on cognitive, physical and social development. Involvement in activities such as band, choir or ballet also improves social development, helps foster self-esteem and helps individuals with disabilities make friends with others in the community.

Yet while inclusion is promoted at the secondary school level, college has not been an option to students with Down Syndrome until recently. Now, a number of colleges are experimenting with educational programs for individuals with disabilities, as opposed to just the traditional vocational training.

In addition to inclusion is the need for greater interpersonal relationships. “Loneliness” is typically a problem for individuals with Down Syndrome, whose siblings and peers move out of the house and eventually start their own families.

Programs such as Step Out, Step In, and Step Together, exist to help address the social and recreational needs of teenagers with a variety of physical and developmental abilities. Services such as DateAble Inc., a dating service for young adults with disabilities, exists to help people meet, date and possibly marry. And Best Buddies International Inc., provides opportunities for individuals with disabilities to become friends with individuals without disabilities.

Fortunately, young people with Down Syndrome and their parents are fighting for and claiming more inclusion into mainstream society. Kate Barlett, from Arlington Massachusetts, testified before the U.S. Senate on October 20, 2005. She was a varsity swimmer and toured with the choir in high school. She is now earning her associate degree from Middlesex Community College.

Carrie Bergeron earned a teaching-assistant certificate from her local community college. She received her learner's permit to drive and is planning to wed her “prince charming” in July of 2006. Carrie’s fiancĂ©, Sujeet, a musician who plays six different instruments, also has Down Syndrome. He calls Carrie his, “Dream Girl.”

Individuals like Brent, Kate, Carrie and Sujeet, inspire me and serve as role models for my nine month-old son who also has Down Syndrome. I am hopeful that the greater level of inclusion that is taking place will create a better culture of understanding for individuals with Down Syndrome and other types of disabilities in the future.

You see, learning to embrace our differences makes us a richer society. A rich society is more than just a wealthy society, monetarily. A rich society is one which recognizes and is enriched by the inherent value each individual possesses. Brent Cools' mom puts it succinctly, “Brent has taught us more than we could ever have imagined.”

Long-term, Brent would like to take some college courses in film, computers and cooking. Brent has advice for other young people with Down Syndrome: “Hang out with the regular kids…Go to all the events.”

When asked what he wants the world to know about him as well as others with disabilities, Brent says, “I can do anything...if I have a little help.” Perhaps Brent recognizes something the rest of us don’t. We all can do anything. And we all need a little help.



Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
Visit my online magazine for moms
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org/

Sunday, October 09, 2005

You’ve Got this Momma Spoiled Rotten!

by Anita S. Lane


That child is spoiled rotten. We’ve all heard it said or thought it about someone’s child. Maybe even our own. I admit it. I think I’ve “spoiled” each of my children—in a good way. But what I didn’t expect is that I would be spoiled in return.

I gave birth to my first child at age thirty. I was a happily-married, confident, career-woman with loving, supportive family and great friends. I wasn’t having a child in order to create a human being to shower me with love and affection. Quite the opposite, I believe God gives us children for us to love, adore and shower with all the unconditional love and affection we can muster. So what happened?

Five years and four children into this mothering adventure I find that I’m a much different woman than I was five years ago. My children love to be held, cuddled, kissed, caressed and told “I love you.” These gestures may not have meant much to me five years ago but today, they mean the world to me.

Each morning I look forward to hearing my daughter’s sweet, soft voice say the words, “Good morning, Mommy.” I cherish the moment each time my one year-old stops what he’s doing, wobbles over to me and lays his head on my knee—his way of taking time to say, “I love you…” It makes my heart stop.

I blush each time my three year-old son looks up from his booster seat at the kitchen table and says without solicitation, “I love you, Mommy.” When I tuck my one year-old in at night he gently strokes my head as he falls asleep (did he learn that from me?). It’s so sweet and it truly warms my heart.

Yes, I’m spoiled rotten. I even have to turn my head while reprimanding my son to avoid succumbing to his demands when he flashes those big, adorable puppy-dog eyes (with long beautiful eye lashes—I might add) and begins shedding those giant crocodile tears.

I’ve become thoroughly accustomed to my daily doses of hugs, kisses and cuddles and I’d probably be a wreck without them.

One day while going about my regular daily routine, my daughter interrupts and says, “Mommy, you’re the best mommy in the whole world,” and she envelopes me in a great, big hug.

I knew when I set out to have children that I would love them with all of my heart. What I didn’t realize is that they would love me with all of theirs. Yes, my children may be spoiled (not rotten), but they’ve got their momma spoiled rotten!

Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
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Sunday, October 02, 2005

Me, God and Dirty Dishes

by Anita S. Lane

I used to despise washing dishes. Just ask my husband. I would rant and rave like a two-year-old fighting bedtime. After all, I was five when my family bought our first home with a dish washer and somehow I ended up thirty-five washing dishes by hand.

I was so enamored with the purchase of our first home that I didn’t even notice there wasn’t a dishwasher in the updated kitchen. Adding a dishwasher now would require re-working the entire kitchen—not worth it. So here I am washing the dishes. And up until recently, it had no redeeming qualities nor did I see any benefit—besides clean dishes for eating.

But with each beautiful addition to our family, my time became more scarce. Then at one point both me and my husband launched major business endeavors. Most of the day my mind was buried in the details of at least a dozen things. Once the children were sound asleep, I’d finish up my tasks for the evening and wash the dishes before retiring to bed.

Sometimes I’d find myself washing dishes at midnight or one o’clock in the morning. Yet instead of complaining the whole while I’d play my music softly and approach dish duty as much needed down-time. Of course walking along the water’s edge would be more appealing than running my fingers through the dirty dish water, but it is water nonetheless. And water does have a calming effect.

So what do I do now during dish duty? I reflect on the day’s events. I think about future plans. I dream up new ideas. I sing. I come up with cute things to write about. And of course, I wash the dishes. Doing dirty dishes has become less of a chore. Sometimes I look forward to it. For it is the one period of time during the day when I am not multi-tasking. I’m all alone—me, God and my dirty dishes. While I work on cleaning the dishes, God works on cleaning me. A sort of mental and spiritual ‘detox’ at the end of the day.

No, I don’t look forward to washing dishes every night (sometimes I’m just plain tired and want skip the cleaning for the bed). But most often my new attitude toward to dish-washing has made the task much more endurable and sometimes even enjoyable.


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
Visit my online magazine for moms

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Learning is Child’s Play

by Anita S. Lane

I can recall when my daughter was in child care. In her two year-old class there were sixteen children and four care-givers. I observed how they would keep the children so engaged throughout the day. Story time, play time, special projects and crafts, lunch, nap, formal instruction, walks to the playground…they kept those kids on their toes.

My daughter eventually came home full-time. But after witnessing what the child development center did with my daughter all day I thought, there’s no way I can compete with that.

No, I cannot compete. At the child care center there were four care-givers who were paid full-time to take my daughter from activity to activity throughout the day. There wasn’t a day that went by when my daughter did not come home with a “project” that she had created. A project a day? Get with it, Mom!

After my daughter came home there were times when I felt a little less than adequate to be her teacher. Yet all of the reading I’ve done in child development teaches me that toddlers and preschoolers learn primarily through “play.”

At home I conduct one and a half hours (tops) of structured “teacher” directed learning. The rest of the learning occurs through hands-on life skills—helping Mommy cook, cleaning up and organizing their messes, exercising alongside Mommy to exercise videos, going to the grocery store, reading, bike riding, dining-in, visiting the library, drawing, learning from their favorite children’s television programs, and of course—playing.

However, I’ve observed a certain level of sophistication within this so-called “play.” My daughter and her younger brother create elaborate adventures and practice rescuing one another (with incredibly convincing sound-effects I must add). Are you two okay in there? They produce entire “movies” replete with costumes and props. They have a community of Barbies (male and female) who get dressed (and undressed), who attend church, go to the beach in their pink convertible, go to parties, date, get married, have children and drive a Volvo station wagon. (Really, Mattel® does make a blue Volvo station wagon with a car seat for the baby!)

So no, I’m not running behind my children with a new, exciting and supposedly mentally stimulating project each hour of the day. More than anything I’m a facilitator. Yes, we learn our ABCs and 123s. But I also make sure they have on-hand what they need to explore their world and even create a new world of their own if they so choose.

I’m now at peace. I no longer feel I have to compete with day care and my daughter is doing just fine. Hey, if what the experts say is true and playing really is fundamental to a preschooler’s learning and development, then my children are learning a lot!


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
Visit my online magazine for moms
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org/

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Baby On A Mission

by Anita S. Lane

Often while in preparation for parenthood we look at having a child solely from our personal vantage point. We will have a baby whom we can love and who will love us. We’ll teach, train and guide them and well—of course we have our mission as parents and the child will, of course, come along for the ride.

Yet the Word of God tells us that each and every one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). God knew our name, He formed us, and He called us while we were yet in our mother’s womb (Isaiah 49:1). God has a distinct purpose for every child he allows to be born into the earth. And just like baby Jesus needed a conduit for getting here, your child needed you.

Now you are the steward of God’s special little one. Yes, you’re handling the day-to-day affairs, but the child yet belongs to God and you must seek God for His instructions on how best to raise the child He’s given you. Our children, just like our spouses, relatives and friends, are on loan to us while here on earth. God created people on earth for Himself. We just help groom them into the people He wants them to be.

This is particularly so if you give birth to a child prodigy, a child-star, a gifted or special needs child. If this is the case, sorry, you’re no longer the captain at the helm. The child’s mission and needs become the driving factor. Parents end up moving to California, evolving their lives around special courses, lessons or tournaments and/or relocating the family to a school district that can better accommodate their special needs child.

When we enlisted as parents, these are the types of sacrifices we potentially could be called upon to make, and God’s blessed you with everything you need to parent the child or children whom He has given you. So relax, let up of the helm a little and let God fulfill His will in the earth through your child.

And don’t be alarmed if you find that the baby is the one on a mission and you’re just along for the ride.

Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
Visit my online magazine for moms
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org/

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Tribute to Black History--pt 4

We Can Learn A Lot Today: Gleaning from Yesterday’s Civil Rights Leaders
by Anita S. Lane

I recently took the time to view the landmark series, "Eyes on the Prize," a 14-part documentary of the civil rights movement and its aftermath, spanning from the 1950s through the mid 1980s. As I reflect on the extraordinary movement of the 1950s and 60s, I clearly see why the movement was so successful. We’ve all heard the phrase “everything rises and falls with leadership.” Well, the black community of that day had its fair share of dedicated leaders who set the pace and led a nation of people toward true democracy.

What is it that these leaders did or possessed within them that made them and ultimately the movement, so extraordinary in my opinion? They possessed many qualities. And I realize now that these are the same qualities that the black community needs today in order to move further ahead collectively. “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy,” Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. said. It may not be the 1960s, but the black community yet has challenges and controversy that we need to address.

What have I observed about the leaders of the nonviolent civil rights movement? In short, they were brilliant, courageous, well-read, strategic, team-oriented, persistent, publicly unified, resilient, focused, patient and hopeful. They also embraced the help of anyone who meant the movement well. And most importantly, they drew strength daily from God and from one another.

This is what it took to make an incredible history-changing movement like the one we experienced in the 1950s and 60s and this is what it will take to forever transform our lives in the 21st century.

I heard a message by a Pastor in Virginia who stated that Dr. King knew that in order to help take his people to the “promised-land” that he had to help “plant a dream inside of them.” King knew it would take vision. The pastor went on to state that we need some young people today to “stand up and say, I too have a dream.”

The pastor lamented that in our society today we’re letting secular entertainers shape our children’s dreams. He stated that entertainers like Snoop Dog, Lil’ Kim and Eminem have become the model of success for many young people. Now, I have nothing against individual entertainers who do what they feel they need to do in order to be successful. However, many of the behaviors and character traits they exhibit I don’t want my children to emulate.

The point is, we still need a dream—a dream that’s larger and more profound than a 52-inch plasma TV, or a tricked-out Lincoln Navigator. We need to pinpoint areas in which we have yet to make adequate strides in American Society and strategically set goals to make advances in those areas. We must push ourselves beyond ourselves.

Sometimes I’m concerned that we think we’ve arrived. Yet we really haven’t. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the poverty rate for African American children is more than twice as high as white children. The college graduation rate for black students is only one-third that of whites, and only about half of all Blacks who enter the ninth grade graduate with regular diplomas four years later.

Clearly we haven’t “arrived.” No, the “struggle” is not over, and there is a lot we can learn from the civil rights movement, its leaders and participants. And we must. If those leaders were to speak to us today, I believe they might say:

We must read books. It makes us smarter.
We must stay in school. It widens the window of opportunity.
We must learn to work well with others. It increases our probability of success.
We must stay the course in spite of opposition. It produces patience and results. We must bounce back after failure. It is the only way to achieve success.
We must be brave. It makes us stronger.
We must keep hope alive. It paralyzes fear.
We must keep our eyes on the prize. It's how endure temporary pain.
We must never give up. Otherwise we will never know what we could have achieved.
We must continually look to the hills from where our help comes. Our help comes from the Lord.

The qualities that empowered the leaders of the modern civil rights movement were not exclusive to them in their time. Those qualities will also work to advance the Black community today.


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
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Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day!

Everybody Loves Love
by Anita S. Lane

Recently my husband and I went to see the movie, Hitch. When the movie ended the audience erupted in applause. I was surprised, but I too joined in. It is my inclination to applaud after a great film, but this is an act I typically reserve for viewing movies at home with my young children.

Whether we realized it or not, those of us viewing this movie chose to applaud in a dark movie theater before an inanimate screen where the actors are who knows where, and totally unable to hear or see our vote of confidence. What is it that would cause young, old, black, white, male, female, Asian, Latino, wealthy and working class to all join in unified applause? My guess is that it is the universal theme of love.

Since the beginning of time love has been the great equalizer among people. People on the seven different continents may spell it, say it and pronounce it differently, but we all feel love the same way.

It’s my speculation that majority of the audience was reminded of that special love after watching this film. Opening Valentine’s Day weekend, Hitch was released to capitalize on the holiday dedicated to love. The movie stars actors Will Smith, Eva Mendez and Kevin James, and is about a Date Doctor who helps nice guys woo the girl of their dreams.

Like Hitch, the original St. Valentine helped couples literally get “hitched.” As the legend goes, St. Valentine was a priest in third century Rome who performed secret marriage ceremonies for young soldiers and their brides because the Emperor had outlawed marriage under the premise that unmarried men made better soldiers. St. Valentine was ultimately put to death, but not before writing a letter to the young girl who visited him while he was in prison, and with whom he’d fallen in love. He signed the letter, “From your Valentine,” which we still say today.


So what is it about love that everybody loves? Well, true love is unconditional—it’s kind, gentle, forgiving, faithful, patient, hopeful, endearing and enduring. Love defers to others and it never gives up.

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the word Love means a deep, tender, ineffable [indescribable] feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

It is this indescribable love that makes you feel like you can fly, climb the highest mountain, swim the widest ocean, and achieve your wildest dreams. The genuine love received from another person makes you feel good about yourself and has enormous power to help you accomplish things you never thought you would.

The best part about love is that we each have the capacity to give and receive it. As children of the creator who IS love, to love is as much a part of our nature as breathing. It’s just that we have to put forth some effort to get it “just right.” Yea, it’s work, but it’s worth it.

So as we celebrate Valentine’s Day may it remind us of the power of love—the power of love to uplift, ignite and transform. This view of love must have inspired the songwriter who wrote the lyrics “what the world needs now is love, sweet love…” Love truly is what the world needs.


Giving and receiving love makes us happier, better people. Deep down we know that and that's why we desire it. It doesn’t matter who you are or what culture you come from, everybody loves love.

Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
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Sunday, February 13, 2005

Tribute to Black History--pt 3

May Black History Month Remind Us Why Affirmative Action is Still Needed
by Anita S. Lane

This Commentary was published in The Detroit News. CLICK HERE to see the article.


One hundred and twenty-two years after President Lincoln freed the slaves, I walked on the university campus as the first individual from my family lineage to attend and graduate from college. I’m an African-American.

I didn’t have the advantage of writing the name of a parent or sibling who attended the university before me. I was a young lady with promise, good grades, and leadership ability, but I owe my entry into the University of Michigan in part, to supportive counselors and affirmative action.

Opponents of affirmative action say that it is unfair, undemocratic, unconstitutional and two wrongs don’t make a right. But how fair, democratic and constitutional was the institution of slavery and the illiteracy, poverty, self-hatred and family dysfunction that ensued as a result—compounded by the effects Jim Crow and racism? The entrenched residual effects of slavery were not undone by Lincoln’s emancipation nor the Civil Rights laws and unfortunately, in spite of many positive steps forward, many of these factors still negatively impact the African-American community today.

According to the U.S. Census bureau, in 1860 there were approximately 4,000,000 slaves in America. African American slaves helped construct our nation’s most symbolic structures, harvested our crops, and by force, sweat, and blood helped build the industries that made America prosperous.

America cannot repay African Americans suitable damages for the 400 years of transatlantic slavery, but America can, being honest and compassionate, take positive actions that affirm the fact it so incalculably and systemically wronged a whole race of people for hundreds of years.

In a country with a progressive tax structure, virtually 100% tax write-offs for corporations and wealthy Americans, as well as a history of welfare and entitlement programs, lawmakers are accustomed to instituting laws and programs they think are fair, just and equitable. Affirmative action is no different.

Even more, affirmative action does not award undeserving individuals with degrees. Yes, I was admitted to college on the basis of their efforts to reach out to more minorities. But I worked hard and graduated. Then I worked hard and graduated again with my Masters Degree.

As humans we innately gravitate towards, understand and perhaps prefer people like ourselves. Affirmative Action helps to ensure that people of color are no longer systematically shut out of the ranks of the “movers and shakers” as well as positions of leadership in institutions that have been traditionally led by whites.

Affirmative action also isn’t about quotas. In the case of the college campus, affirmative action is, at its core, a conscience effort made on the part of admissions counselors to value racial and cultural diversity when making admissions decisions—believing that a diversified college campus makes for a better college experience and ultimately a better workforce.

From a cost-benefit standpoint, affirmative action costs very little. Yet we suffer grave social and economic consequences when we don’t make the effort. When blacks, whites and people of other races share the same dormitory, the same classroom and the same board room, great cultural exchanges take place. We stem the tide of ignorance and we learn to live in harmony with one another.

One affirmative action is all it took, and the world opened up for me. And now the world is open for my children. My children will have the social networks, education and experiences to take our family lineage to the next level.

However, it is now 140 years after Lincoln freed the slaves, a mere forty years since African Americans could expect equal treatment under the law, and there are still many African American individuals who yet need an opportunity like the one I received.

Yes, African Americans attend college at higher rates than we did fifty years ago, yet, according to a study by the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, the disparity between white college graduates and African American college graduates has actually increased since 1960, and the percentage of African American college graduates today is only one-third that of whites.

Let’s not peddle backwards. In a progressive society like America, colleges should look at the whole person when considering his or her potential contribution to the campus—including race. That’s why I commend the University of Michigan’s continued fight for affirmative action.

Each February we take time to remember the achievements of notable African-Americans and what progress we have made thus far. But this year I hope we will look openly and honestly at our broader American history and the ramifications on African-Americans in our society to see why affirmative action is still needed.

Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
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http://keepingfamilyfirst.org

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Tribute to Black History--pt 2

I’m Black and I’m Proud…Now
by Anita S. Lane

I grew up as a minority in a predominately white and Orthodox Jewish neighborhood which grew increasingly ethnically diverse throughout my K-12 academic career. I remember going into kindergarten and first grade with just two or three Black children in my class. I remember becoming best friends with Molly and later, Julie who were both Jewish. In high school I remember falling for the one Latino guy in our class and having the biggest crush on the popular, muscular, dark-haired, dark-eyed boy named Brad.

I remember me and my best friend having a saying that went, “white boys, black cars, colonial houses and lots of money, honey.” Suburban life had really taken its toll.

Then I went to college. Giving credit to the Black Action Movement (BAM) the Black Student Union, courses in the College of African American Studies and other culturally aware students, I learned more about African American history than I ever did growing up. I learned that “my people” had so much that I could be proud of.

Most importantly, I give credit to God for showing me how to love myself and others unconditionally. I became a Christian at age 18 and really began to challenge my subconscious beliefs about race, culture and beauty. My mom informs me that when I was in elementary school I wanted to be white and have long, straight hair like the other girls. Amazingly, I don't remember that. However, I do remember being a teenager and having a preference for light-skinned Black boys with “good” (that meant straighter) hair.

As a result of the salvation and cultural education I experienced as a young college student, I began to accept, appreciate and love myself and those like me—Black people—more. I knew I had truly “crossed over” when I loved and appreciated myself enough to desire to marry someone just like me—albeit, male. It wasn’t long before I met my wonderful, tall, muscular, very handsome, brown-skinned husband-to-be while on campus. Had I met him before my metamorphosis, he would have never made the cut--
and I would have missed out on God's best for me.

While it is unfortunate that I had to go through such a deep inner transformation just to unconditionally love, appreciate and accept myself and other Black people, I’m just glad that I made the tranformation. And if I can be an encouragement to anyone else with the same struggle, that's great. My people are incredibly bright, strong, courageous, passionate, loving, creative and beautiful people. I doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of us. I know that now. I’m Black…and I’m proud.


Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane

Visit my online magazine for moms
http://keepingfamilyfirst.org/