Real Good Love
by Anita S. Lane
So this is love…Real love. My husband was leaving for work one morning and as he descended down the stairs I found myself humming the tune of Aretha Franklin’s legendary song, “A Natural Woman.” What? Why am I singing this song? It is definitely not my typical choice of morning, quiet-time selections. But I went with it. I didn’t even know I knew the words—or at least the chorus—but I did. Then it became clear why that song came to mind.
On that morning, I realized something. I felt alive. Real love makes you feel alive.
Don’t think that feelings don’t matter in marriage. What two individuals get married simply because they know intellectually that they love each other? (Outside of an arranged marriage, of course). In most instances, individuals are motivated to get married because they feel love. He says, “I love you.” She says, “I love you” and they feel it. They feel it in their souls. They feel it in their hearts. They sense it in the touch and hear it in the sound of each other’s voices. This is love. They know it and they feel it—enough to walk down the isle and jump the broom into marital bliss.
However, many times after years of marriage the love we once “felt” gives way to a love we merely know in our hearts. And while knowing in our hearts that our spouse loves us is essential, feeling it is what keeps the marital embers burning.
Feeling the love is what helps you ward off the temptation to get involved with another man or woman. Feeling the love is what helps give you the emotional strength (plus a few endorphins) to endure the hard times in marriage. Granted, no matter what you feel, marriage is a commitment and one promises to be true regardless. But a few positive feelings can really help along the way.
We are first of all spiritual beings, but we are also emotional and physical beings as well. That’s why good communication and good sex are also critical to a successful marriage. No marriage is perfect and no successful marriage is accomplished without effort. But when use your time, energy and resources (effort) in preventative measures—to really love and demonstrate love—then you will spend a lot less effort on reconstructive measures attempting to rebuild a marriage that has come undone. And believe me, it’s worth the effort.
Good love makes you feel alive. That one morning as my husband descended down the stairs to leave for work I realized that I truly felt alive. God is my source and my womanhood is in Him. But my husband enhances my womanhood. He builds me up in my efforts to be the woman God is calling me to be. He’s still the most handsome guy I know. I still blush when he flashes that debonair smile and my face still lights up when he enters a room…
Oh, baby, what you've done to me
You make me feel so good inside
And I just want to be
Close to you, you make me feel so alive
Cause you make me feel
You make me feel
You make me feel like a natural woman...
I am free to soar because of the unconditional love of a really good God and the real good love of my man.
Recommended Reading:
“The Five Love Languages,” by Gary Chapman
"Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately"Needs," by E. Eggerichs
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