The Prenatal Industry Needs to Get a Clue!

by Anita S. Lane

Aah…Ladies, remember daydreaming about your first child? Remember wondering what it would be like to have a precious little baby blossoming in your womb—decorating the nursery and anticipating the miracle of childbirth? Remember your first prenatal visit? If it was anything like mine, you walked out with a bag full of flyers, pamphlets, magazines, coupons, prenatal vitamin samples and helpful articles to help you prepare for your big day.

In my bag was a blue folder with information from Obstetrician-Gynecologists and other specialists that included advice like, “take your vitamins…get plenty of rest…take frequent naps…pamper yourself” and “put your feet up to avoid swelling later in pregnancy.” Admonishments for after childbirth included things like, “nap while the baby naps,” and “the dishes can wait…”

Nine months after the birth of my first child I was back at the OBGYN for my first prenatal visit…for my second child. I walked out with a bag full of flyers, pamphlets, magazines, coupons, prenatal vitamin samples and a blue folder with helpful articles to help me prepare for my big day. Almost two years later I again went to the OBGYN for my first prenatal visit…for my third child. Ironically, I walked out with a bag full of –you know what I’m about to say—as well as a blue folder with the same “helpful” articles to help me prepare for my big day.

Okay, a refresher course in preparing for a newborn is always in order. But five months after the birth of my third child I was back at the OBGYN for my first prenatal visit…for my fourth child. Almost to my dismay, I walked out with a bag full of flyers, pamphlets, magazines, coupons, prenatal vitamin samples, and once again… a blue folder with supposedly “helpful” articles to help me prepare for my big day.

As I sifted through those familiar articles that admonished me to “get plenty of rest…take frequent naps…pamper yourself…put your feet up…nap while the baby naps,” and “the dishes can wait…” This time I thought to myself. “ARE YOU CRAZY? Is this some kind of cruel joke?” When am I supposed to get plenty of rest with two toddlers and an infant who doesn’t yet sleep through the night? How am I supposed to pamper myself without extensive planning and an affordable—or better yet—free babysitter? How am I supposed to put my feet up while washing dishes, sweeping, cooking and chasing after a 10 month-old who just learned to walk? How can I nap with my new baby when the other three children need to be fed, and driven to ballet, piano and soccer? And just how long can the dishes wait…a week? Somebody give these folks a reality check.

So now that I’m preparing for baby number four I’m now questioning all of the warm and fuzzy advice given for pregnancy number one. Were all of the specialists’ recommendations really necessary for a happy, healthy mom and baby? From my sake I sure hope not! Their advice may be ideal, but it’s not realistic.

I know the well-meaning physicians, nurses and other specialists in the prenatal field really want to help new moms prepare for and adjust to their new lives. But do moms like me a favor and insert a pamphlet with practical advice for mothers having baby number two and beyond—a pamphlet that recognizes and understands that once you have more than one child you typically no longer have the luxury of time and focus you had with your first child. Beyond baby number one the world is a very different place and the prenatal industry needs to get a clue!

Copyright ©2004 by Anita S. Lane