by Anita S. Lane
I grew up as a minority in a predominately white and Orthodox Jewish neighborhood which grew increasingly ethnically diverse throughout my K-12 academic career. I remember going into kindergarten and first grade with just two or three Black children in my class. I remember becoming best friends with Molly and later, Julie who were both Jewish. In high school I remember falling for the one Latino guy in our class and having the biggest crush on the popular, muscular, dark-haired, dark-eyed boy named Brad.
I remember me and my best friend having a saying that went, “white boys, black cars, colonial houses and lots of money, honey.” Suburban life had really taken its toll.
Then I went to college. Giving credit to the Black Action Movement (BAM) the Black Student Union, courses in the College of African American Studies and other culturally aware students, I learned more about African American history than I ever did growing up. I learned that “my people” had so much that I could be proud of.
Most importantly, I give credit to God for showing me how to love myself and others unconditionally. I became a Christian at age 18 and really began to challenge my subconscious beliefs about race, culture and beauty. My mom informs me that when I was in elementary school I wanted to be white and have long, straight hair like the other girls. Amazingly, I don't remember that. However, I do remember being a teenager and having a preference for light-skinned Black boys with “good” (that meant straighter) hair.
As a result of the salvation and cultural education I experienced as a young college student, I began to accept, appreciate and love myself and those like me—Black people—more. I knew I had truly “crossed over” when I loved and appreciated myself enough to desire to marry someone just like me—albeit, male. It wasn’t long before I met my wonderful, tall, muscular, very handsome, brown-skinned husband-to-be while on campus. Had I met him before my metamorphosis, he would have never made the cut--and I would have missed out on God's best for me.
While it is unfortunate that I had to go through such a deep inner transformation just to unconditionally love, appreciate and accept myself and other Black people, I’m just glad that I made the tranformation. And if I can be an encouragement to anyone else with the same struggle, that's great. My people are incredibly bright, strong, courageous, passionate, loving, creative and beautiful people. I doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of us. I know that now. I’m Black…and I’m proud.
Copyright ©2005 by Anita S. Lane
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