It was a span of four days. Things seemed to be falling apart in little ways.
Day one: I went to make a purchase with my bank card and could not find my license. “Great. That sure complicates things,” I thought to myself.
Day two: I’m ordering carry out and cannot find enough cash to pay for the meal. “I thought I had more cash…” I mumbled in embarrassment as I fumbled through my purple fanny pack (“hey, it fits in the baby bag”). Not to mention someone I knew was standing nearby. Fortunately I found just enough to cover the bill. “Whew!”
Day three: I retrace my steps to various vendors in search of my license. No luck.
Day four: I go to make a withdrawal from the ATM machine only to discover I do not have my ATM card. I cannot find it. By this time I’m feeling irresponsible. “I’m not losing it,” I tell myself as I try to remain calm and pleasant in the presence of my children. I search the house. I revisit the pizza parlor where a couple of days prior I purchased pizza.
I call and cancel my debit card and proceed to complete the errands I originally set out to accomplish. My four year-old daughter asked when we left the house if she could bring her little black purse. “Okay,” I said even though I saw it as an unnecessary piece luggage for which I would ultimately be responsible.
I get to the office supply store with my two young children and infant in tow, only to discover that the main item I came to purchase is out of stock. “It could be worse, right?” Then it’s time for the family rest room break. While in the restroom my daughter is flashing dollar bills from her purse. Out of the corner of my eye it appears that one of the bills is larger than a dollar bill. I go over to her only to discover she’s flashing a twenty dollar bill…and a five…and a one dollar bill. At this point I want to know just how much loot she’s actually carrying in that little black bag of hers. I open the purse and to my amazement I find my license and my debit card (in addition to the twenty-six dollars in cash). I had to catch my breath. I was outraged.
“Didn’t you know Mommy was looking for these things? Didn’t you hear me say I couldn’t find my license and my bank card? Didn’t you know it was wrong to take something out of mommy’s fanny pack?”
I immediately called my husband and he calmed me down. “Honey, she didn’t realize what she had taken. She was only trying to be like you by putting those items into her purse.” Apparently she had put those items in her purse a few days ago and forgot. Nevertheless, she was disciplined and her purse-carrying privileges suspended.
Okay, so her actions were unintentional, but they still caused me a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering—can I sue for damages? As a woman who usually “keeps it together,” this particular weekend got to me. The public humiliation of not having enough cash for carryout, losing my license, retracing my tracks to vendors, reporting my debit card lost/stolen, and wondering all the while “what is happening to me?” had worked my patience. But I had to forgive and move on. Whether intentional or unintentional, when someone else’s actions make life difficult for us it is still our responsibility to forgive and move on. “Look at the bright side,” I told myself. At least in this instance I wasn’t actually “losing it.”
Copyright ©2004 by Anita S. Lane
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